


cracked but still there

by Brie (Kura)



Series: Let The World Know [3]
Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 21:43:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1757731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kura/pseuds/Brie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roman and Dean watch Seth's appearance on Smackdown while trying to find out if there is a future for The Shield. </p><p>And Seth might have betrayed his brothers but he does not want to lose Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	cracked but still there

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wanted this part to be a bit of Roman, a bit of Dean and finally a bit of Seth. Roman had too much to say, so Seth will have the next two parts for himself. Depending on how much fun it'll be to write and how heartbreaking Raw will be, I'm going to write a final part with Dean meeting Seth outside of Raw. As always, you can find more information [here](http://ambrollinsgirl.tumblr.com/). Have fun =)

'Only I know why I betrayed my brothers,' Dean mocks Seth, throwing his hands around and accidentally hitting Roman at the head, but he knows better than to wait for an apology. Dean is too engrossed by the scene unfolding on the television anyway.

They've constantly been on the move since Monday, have driven down the road that they had originally wanted to take with Seth, but after RAW they had decided to avoid any chance of meeting the kid at a hotel.

Which means they're sticking to low-key motels and different routes to not meet anyone of the WWE on the road. It's better if they two of them survive these crucial first days on their own.

Surprisingly, Dean has managed to not completely demolish every room they've slept in so far – though he has left a path of destruction through the state. Roman doesn't really mind. As long as Dean isn't hiding his feelings he can deal with any Dean-typical violence. It's not like he's not used to clean up after him.

'Of course is he the only one knowing it,' Dean yells on, now pacing the small room, wriggling his hands like he uses to when he's pumped up and doesn't know where to put all of his energy.

'And what the fuck is he thinking, calling us his _brothers_? Wearing _our_ ring attire. Oh, Seth, you're on thin ice. Thin ice,' he seethes and Roman hides his amused smile by turning away for a second.

Dean has needed some time to understand the consequences of Seth's actions (and judging byhis restless behavior he still tries to hate Seth as much as he wants to mend things with him), which resulted in a lot of stubborn silence in the car and only occasionally a clipped conversation.

When Roman woke up this morning he was so relieved to see parts of the old Dean slowly coming back to life.

The loud-mouthed, aggressive yet caring, bouncy bundle of relentless energy Roman likes to have around him. It's horribly boring and weird without that Dean by his side.

(Even though he misses Seth's level-headed way of putting up with the two of them too. He doesn't tell Dean – they don't talk about Seth or the remaining fragments of The Shield – but he catches himself looking at the door of every hotel room, waiting for Seth to barge in, grinning stupidly, jumping on Dean's back to use him as a ride.)

Roman is really glad that Dean has found some lost parts of himself again but he won't be fooled by this familiar behavior. He knows very well that Dean is putting on a show for him, to make him believe that they will continue to travel together.

Maybe Dean is even trying to prove to himself that he doesn't need Seth at all, that he can go on no matter how many times the other tries to break him apart from the inside out.

He doesn't exactly think it's healthy for the younger to act like he couldn't care less – because it's pretty damn obvious that he is anything but over Seth –, doesn't approve of Dean waging war against himself all alone but he is forced to just sit here and condone it.

Roman can – no, _has to_ – wait until Dean comes to a final decision because it's not only about Seth, it's also about the future of the two of them. And even though Roman can't trust Dean yet, he still wants them to continue as The Shield.

It feels weird to make plans without Seth because so far he has been the one always knowing what to do next, how to strike, how to deal with situations like this. It's not like he and Dean never had a say in anything but they had trusted Seth enough to decide what was best for the three of them.

Thinking about Seth now helping Randy Orton and Triple H, making the new Evolution even more powerful with his brilliant mind and genius plans, leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and he has to swallow multiple times to get rid of it again.

'Did you see how he smiled every time Hunter mentioned The Shield?' Dean turns around and rips the pillowcase he's been manhandling for the past five minutes completely apart, little feathers falling silently to the ground.

'How fucking dare he smile like that? Ro, I swear to God, I'm gonna break his fucking neck and have Heyman brag about that for the rest of his life too.'

Dean is already way beyond the point where any argument could bring him back to reality and Roman thinks – a bit selfishly, he might add – that letting it all out is better for Dean than keeping it bottled up inside.

'Why are we doing this?' he mutters, words falling on deaf ears. Dean is trapped in his own world and Roman is too curious to know how he really feels about Seth than to try and get him out of there.

(He has already asked this a few minutes ago when Dean turned on the television to switch to the right channel. He really doesn't get why they have to torture themselves like this on top of everything they've been through.

Dean answered absentmindedly that it was to help him decide what to do on Raw. When the music of the Evolution hit and Seth walked out in his usual ring attire, Roman felt like he was getting hit with the steel chair all over again.

When he'd wanted to know if Dean had any epiphanies so far, Dean just grunted and replied, 'I guess do what each of us does best: make it up as we go.' Which actually means that Dean still isn't sure about keeping Roman around.)

He looks at the screen, listens with satisfaction how Dolph calls Seth a sell out and the crowd chiming in. Seth looks like he tries a bit too hard to keep up his defense, the mask of being unattainable and better than anyone else.

What once has seemed like cockiness is now supposed to be arrogance. Seth can fool the audience but not Roman. Not now, that he has seen his true face.

There is a part of Seth still reaching out to them. Especially Dean. It's maybe just a glimpse Roman catches and Seth might not even be aware of it, but there's a split second when his eyes turn soft – while his mouth is pressed together tightly, unforgiving.

Seth's brown eyes tend to give away everything. He might be able to switch back to looking nasty whenever he sees the camera directed at him but the softness always creeps back.

The wish to ask if Dean can see the same thing is overwhelming but Dean is too absorbed in the match and just watching him react to every little thing might actually be better than anything else.

He can still prod and pry later to make the other open up. (It's a lot harder without Seth – almost impossible – but Roman won't give up. It has always looked so easy when Seth managed to do it with just a light touch, one deep look or a genuine smile. Maybe he even can use Seth's appearance on Smackdown to accomplish it.)

Dean finally sags down on the end of the bed – making it creak dangerously – and Roman has to adjust his position to not roll to the side because of the added weight. This is by far the shittiest motel they've found this week. He hasn't moved in hours, afraid of breaking the brittle bed in half.

He's actually dreading to spend the night here. There is only one bed which means it'll be the first time Dean and he will share it since Payback. So far, Dean has slept on the couch, telling Roman to take the bed because of his bruised back and Roman is not quite sure Dean won't end up sleeping on the floor because he can't stand being so close to someone in the dead of the night.

Whenever Roman turns off the light, it's like Dean can finally let go of the façade he's so desperately trying to keep up for him. And Roman doesn't want to take that away from Dean, as long as the other is still in dire need of it.

Dolph is doing a pretty neat job on trying to beat down Seth but Roman knows that there's no way he'll lose his first match as part of the Evolution. Whatever he wanted to achieve by betraying them, he can't start his new partnership by showing everyone that he can't make it alone.

He still has complete faith in Seth's abilities. That kid is fucking talented and they've all known it from the beginning. Hell, even before they had made it into the WWE. Even now that he watches his former brother in that ring, he can't bring himself to flat out hate Seth.

He feels betrayed, hell yeah, and he is disappointed and won't trust the kid ever again. But he also still feels kind of protective over the boy. He has looked out for him for roughly two years. One can't just forget such a long time because of hurt pride.

He's had some days to think about all of it – and even though he still has not a single clue as to why Seth has done that, he kind of also keeps hoping that it will somehow work out in the end. Not only for the sake of Dean and their relationship but also for Roman and his two little brothers.

He wants his family back. If he can't get that, he doesn't want a family at all.

Watching Dean following the match is funny and heart-wrenching at the same time. Every time Seth gets hit pretty hard he can see Dean flinch slightly, as if his mind isn't even here but at ringside – where he still feels at home, where he wants to be, where he should be – supporting Seth like he's used to, feeling every blow like he has been hit too.

Roman can practically witness in slow-motion how Dean is getting closer to the breaking point with each passing second because of his ambiguous feelings towards Seth.

Dean is torn between the tentative, but profound love he harbored inside for almost three years now and searing, poisoning hatred he knows he should feel (and always talks himself into feeling) because Dean is just like that.

He is a man of extremes and there is only burning passion or bitter animosity. Dean is always either or; there is no in between.

Roman still hopes that this time, there will be. For Dean's sake.

(It has nothing to do with Roman missing Seth horribly; already starting to ask himself if he has it in him to forgive the kid without ever forgetting what has happened. No, absolutely nothing...)

He's thinking about commenting on Dean being visibly shaken by this match, ponders over every possible reaction of the other (he could even end up getting punched; Roman prefers his face not broken and bruised though) and has just summoned up enough courage to address Dean when _it_ happens.

The moment Dolph hits Seth with an improvised diving facebuster from the top rope and Seth lands hard on the left side of his face, blond and dark brown hair flying mesmerizingly through the air, Dean can't take it any longer.

He is impressed the other has held on for about thirteen minutes, before he finally breaks and jumps up – this time Roman does lose his balance and lands face first in the mattress – and runs into the bathroom.

He hears a pained, heartrending outcry even before something shatters with a loud pang. Shards of the mirror fall onto the tiles while Roman rolls out of the bed to follow his brother, worried sick that Dean has done something really stupid.

Dean is kneeling on the ground, broken pieces of the mirror all around him, some of them stained with bright red blood.

It's a miracle to Roman how Dean, being who he is (all violent and unstable and willing to sink low), has never hurt him or Seth; just harms himself instead. And from everything Roman has witnessed over the years, he knows very well that Dean doesn't shy away from attacking other people.

But no matter how bad things went, Dean never failed to protect him and Seth from his own destructiveness.

He catches himself smiling in the broken pieces of the glass, because Dean loves them both – as a brother and as someone who could have been (and could still be) more – and it gives him hope that their time as a team is not yet over.

Roman crouches down to examine the damage done to Dean's hands and he's surprised when the other allows to be touched without any kind of protest. Maybe he can also get away with something else without getting punched in the face.

'You know that we don't have to kick him out of our lives completely,' he reminds Dean, his tone tender and cautious, while checking the nasty looking wound on Dean's right hand. Blood is gushing out of it, staining both of their clothes but Roman can get over that. What he can't deal with is Dean hurting so much.

Dean scoffs and peels himself out of his black hoodie to get better access to his wife-beater. He tries to rip off a stripe to cover his palm with it but doesn't get a good enough grip, so he just sighs, rubs tiredly over his eyes (Roman ignores the blood smeared all over Dean's face) and finally meets Roman's gaze.

It takes all of his self-control to not wince at the hopelessness clouding Dean's usually so clear blue eyes. There's nothing left of the confidence they normally radiate. 'Yeah, no, he managed that on his own.'

Dean's voice is barely audible and croaky. It's hurts him to hear it breaking on almost every word.

Seth's betrayal has cut deep, probably deeper than the kid had anticipated, but Roman can see it in those hollow and haunted eyes clear as day: Dean can't – or won't – let go of the other just yet. He might need a lot of time but in the end he too will realize that they will end up together. It's written in the stars or some romantic shit like that.

The one benefiting from this fact is Seth. For Dean it only means more pain and agony. He is the one who has to forgive, to build up trust again (if he's ever able to do that), to have to confront the other over and over again until this is settled.

All Seth has to do is wait and pray.

As he shoots Dean a small, encouraging smile and tears the bloodstained cloth in half, he grimly wishes he'll get the chance to go one on one with Seth in the ring. He wants to hurt Seth the same way he did them. But more importantly, he wants to do this for Dean.

The hothead won't back down from any confrontation because he's a professional and can hide his true emotions pretty well for the sake of the fans, but Roman would bet all his money on Dean hesitating for a fateful second when he has to face Seth. Other people might not even be able to see it.

Dean couldn't even attack the kid full-on after Seth had hit Roman with a chair on Monday. He has seen the footage on his phone, still cringes when he just thinks of Dean's shocked expression, which means he has also watched Dean and Seth stare at each other for a short moment before Dean took a step forward.

Roman has spent a lot of time with Dean but he has never seen him this insecure. The Dean Ambrose the fans love so much, the Lunatic Fringe, the guy who jumps in front of his brothers to take a bullet for them, never hesitates.

In that moment – in the same ring the had their debut at Survivor Series – Dean didn't know what to do and everyone could see it. Instead of releasing the hound and jumping at the traitor ferociously, Dean had approached Seth half-stumbling, half-attacking before Seth delivered the blow that knocked all life and resistance out of Dean.

Dean hisses when Roman puts a bit too much pressure on the wound but he yanks the other just up, so he can wash his hand and finally put the makeshift bandage on it. 'Dean, I mean it,' he repeats sternly and forces Dean to look him in the eyes.

'If you want, we can try to mend things. I'm not saying it will work out or that we go easy on him, but if you believe in the two of you, I will be right by your side.'

Dean averts his gaze automatically, trying hard to not show any signs of weakness. They used to be over that but Seth's betrayal has put everything they had achieved on reset.

He doesn't mention that he can read Dean like an open book right now and retreats back into the main room, searching for some spare clothes he can wrap around his hands to gather the razor-sharp mirror pieces.

He's just picking up the last one when Dean clears his throat behind him and murmurs, eyes not able to meets Roman's, 'I need more time.'

He nods, again hiding his satisfied grin.

Throwing the shards in the trash can, he tests the waters by saying, 'Until then we're just going to give him a lot of shit.'

Dean actually manages a tiny, thin laugh at that. 'I want him to beg for forgiveness,' he adds, voice growing stronger with each word. Roman pats him on the shoulder and switches off the bathroom light. 'Sounds good to me.'

* * *

It's the middle of the night when he wakes up confused and disoriented. He needs a second to remember where he is and to find out what has roused him.

The space on the bed next to him is cold which means that Dean hasn't been lying there for a while now. And he has definitely been there when he'd fallen asleep.

His back still stings whenever he moves too fast or not carefully enough but he can't be bothered with his soreness right now. Not when Dean is obviously missing and still in a fragile state of mind.

For a moment he fears Dean has bailed on him because all of his stuff is gone and the familiar feeling of betrayal hits him harder than he thought it would (he should be used to it by now, shouldn't he?), but then he hears Dean's voice through the open window.

'I thought I told you to leave me alone.' He's not really talking to Seth on the phone, is he? And why did he pack his stuff just to do that? (At least now he knows what has woken him up. He can make out the unique sound of their entrance music everywhere, even when he's sleeping.)

Roman tip-toes closer to the window and draws the curtain back a bit. He can see Dean sitting on the roof of their car, his duffel resting on the rear shelf, the sight telling Roman all he needs to know. Dean has tried to sleep in the car, still unable to find any rest next to him.

He can live with that. Dean just needs more time and space, and Roman will give him all of it, if that's what it takes for the two of them to continue as The Shield.

'No, you listen, I don't wanna talk to you. Not now, not ever.' Dean is practically hissing at Seth, disdain plainly obvious on his face; even in the half-darkness. He's silent for a moment before Roman watches him slam his injured hand on the roof and wincing loudly.

'No, I– I don't know why I picked up, okay? I don't even know why I'm still talking to you.' And with that he ends the call, throwing the phone through an open window into the car.

So Seth is trying to reach out; at least to Dean which isn't much of a surprise. He's the one Seth has to convince first and foremost. And when Dean is ready to let the other back into his life, then Roman will try to think about doing the same.

He is so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't even see Dean jumping down and coming back to the room; he just flinches when bright light is blinding him and he notices Dean's reflection in the window.

He expects Dean to get all pissed because he has eavesdropped on his conversation but all he gets is a sigh and a tired command. 'Ask me again.'

There is a moment of silence in which Roman tries to figure out what's going on but then it hits him and the anticipation makes his heart beat like crazy in his chest. He's suddenly very nervous, afraid of Dean's final answer.

He has asked him the most important question of all on Wednesday but had only gotten a shake of the head, the gesture enough to tell him it was still too soon.

'So, what's it gonna be?' Them or Seth? The Shield standing tall or crumbling because of the architect blowing up the whole thing?

Dean doesn't answer right away, just inches closer while his lips twitch and show a cruel half-smile and his eyes turn dark.

When he stands directly in front of him he cracks his neck and looks down at Roman's extended fist with more serenity than he expected Dean to be capable of right now.

Stormy blue eyes (he can see very clearly now that they've shed one or two tears in the parking lot) meet his own and he knows the answer to this million dollar question even before Dean moves.


End file.
